The first entry is in, and it’s going to be a tough one to beat.
Reader Karl “Made of Win + Awesome” Horberg nominates Uzbekistan’s killings of Muzafar Avazov and Husnidin Alimov, his summary is below. He has also named the award you are all competing for: the “X-Judy.”
For fun, sun, and brutal, vicious torture no one really does it better than Uzbekistan. Way back in August 8, 2002 the bodies of Muzafar Avazov and Husnidin Alimov, formerly prisioners at Jaslyk prison, were returned to their families. Avazov lacked fingernails and and his arms and most of his lower body displayed burns. It turns out he got it pretty easy. Alimov had burns on 60-70% of his body, the type of burns which could only be caused by “immersion in boiling water.” (see Deaths in Custody in Uzbekistan, Human Rights Watch).
Yeah, that’s right. These guys got boiled to death. Which can lead us to only one possible conclusion–Uzbek prison guards are running out of ways to cause pain and suffering so quickly that now they’re stealing from Bugs Bunny cartoons.
But hey, maybe Avazov and Alimov had it coming. I mean come on, these guys were in prison. They were horrid, wretched criminals, probably plotting the overthrow of the Uzbekistan government and whatnot. What were they charged with? Practicing Islam and allegedly belonging to the Islamic political party Hizb ut-Tahrir. Islam Karimov, the President of Uzbekistan, has blamed Hizb ut-Tahrir for pretty much everything from hangnails to global warming. (In fact, Karimov has become so used to blaming Hizb ut-Tahrir for things that instead of saying their name, he just makes a scary face and says “Oogga-booga-booga!”).
But these accusations are suspicious on a number of accounts. First, everyone knows global warming is a penguin conspiracy to get some adorable movies made about them. Second, Hizb ut-Tahrir hasn’t really ever done anything. They’re an Islamic political party that isn’t particularly Islamic or political, they’re a supposed terrorist organization that hasn’t ever been linked to a violent act.
Now, for the sake of fairness, what do the Uzbeks say about all this? Was it just a big fingernail-pulling misunderstanding? But of course! The official government line is that the bruises and wounds on Avazov and Alimov aren’t a result of months and months of beatings, but of a minutes long tussle between prisoners. The scalding? Well, the prisoners were given hot water to wash up with and they spilled it on themselves (I’m not making this up. See the HRW report quoted above). Those crazy
Karl’s going to be tough to beat, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Send us your entries! The week lasts until Wednesday, but the days are ticking by…