A prominent American celebrity suggests that a Trump presidency (you know, that guy who’ll make America great again by getting rid of all the women, immigrants, and Muslims) would be better for liberals than electing Hillary Clinton.
At this point, it feels like cheating to include anything related to the U.S. presidential election. In the last few days alone, the two frontrunners for the Republican nomination got in a fight over whose wife is hotter, and one of them (or possibly both) called for police to “patrol and secure” Muslim neighborhoods in the U.S. in the wake of the Brussels attacks.
In other American political nonsense, North Carolina just basically made it illegal to protect gay and transgender people from discrimination.
Meanwhile, across the pond, the European Union has decided that a good way to deal with the refugee crisis would be to ship all “irregular migrants” arriving in Greece back to Turkey. Human rights advocates say that this measure amounts to unlawful mass expulsion, and MSF is suspending its activities at the refugees’ arrival point in Greece in protest.
So everything is pretty much the worst. And if you thought you were going to console yourself with Easter candy this weekend, think again. All of our chocolate turns out to be poison.
This week’s WTFs come in three flavors: WTF Islamophobia, WTF Eagles, and WTF Cambodia. Check it out:
In a victory for crabby 6 year olds everywhere, “she was LOOKING AT ME” has finally been recognized as a legitimate cause for retaliation. Specifically, two women were kicked off of a JetBlue flight for having their eyes open while also being Muslim. Ugh.
An Egyptian student who posted on Facebook that he “wouldn’t mind serving a life sentence” for killing Donald Trump has had his visa revoked and will have to leave the US by July 5. Most of my Facebook feed should be breathing a sigh of relief that they have American citizenship and can’t be deported.
The rise of Trump is not the only harbinger of doom for America: 13 dead bald eagles were found in Maryland. Authorities suspect that they did not die of natural causes.
Meanwhile, in Sri Lanka, two men who filmed themselves torturing and killing an endangered eagle have been arrested.
Did you guys see the GOP debate last night? Donald Trump repeatedly referred to Rubio as “Little Marco”, bragged about the size of his penis, and insinuated that our nation’s military would be perfectly happy to commit war crimes at his say-so.
This just in from the internet’s foremost supplier of lady-bummers, Jina Moore: Women in a German refugee camp are accusing nine security guards of not only failing to provide security, but actively sneaking men into the camp to rape them.
In only slightly lighter news, humans once again demonstrated that we should not have been left in charge of a planet when a bunch of us took a baby dolphin out of the ocean and passed it around taking selfies until it died.
And finally, Maine’s idiot governor thinks asylum seekers are his state’s “biggest problem“. (Note: Despite the efforts of Governor LePage, Maine is one of a small number of states that provided welfare to asylum applicants, making it an attractive destination. But we’re still not talking about very many people; a 2014 article reported that at the time, there were 587 applicants in Maine awaiting their asylum interviews. And, because there’s a good chance that Governor LePage doesn’t know the difference between asylum seekers and refugees, it’s worth noting as well that Maine welcomed a grand total of 388 refugees in 2014.) Anyway. Why are they such a problem, you might ask? Well, apparently, they’re bringing in the “ziki fly”. (Additional note: that is not a thing.)
It seems that Kanye had a fashion show last night and the theme was Rwandan refugees.
You might be wondering “What does that even mean?” or “Isn’t that incredibly offensive?” or “Does he mean mid-90s Rwandan refugees in the DRC, or like, current day Burundian refugees in eastern Rwanda?”
This was the week we were all forced to contend with the term “pro-rape rally”.
In case you were fortunate enough to miss this, I’m here to ruin your day: A noted internet asshole organized men’s rights events in 43 countries for this Saturday evening. Following widespread outrage (prompted by the aforementioned asshole’s public position that legalizing rape would be a good way to stop it), he announced that he was canceling the event because “I can no longer guarantee the safety or privacy of the men who want to attend”. Honestly, gross as this is, it’s not 100% clear that this was ever a real thing, and efforts to get more information have only yielded additional nonsense. To wit:
Meanwhile, the competition to be the biggest dick to refugees continues unabated. The EU plans to criminalize offering assistance to migrants arriving on the Greek Islands. And Australia’s high court just ruled that the country’s abhorrent practice of imprisoning asylum seekers in offshore camps is totally legal.
Welcome to 2016, everyone. Here’s how the first week of the new year has gone:
North Korea says that it tested a hydrogen bomb, a technology that it totally, definitely, absolutely has. Other things North Korea claims to have include: a cure for Ebola, unicorns, and a functioning economy.
Ben Carson, who is somehow still a candidate for the Republican presidential nomination, despite his militant ignorance of policy, politics, and interior design, humiliated a small child at a campaign event yesterday. If you don’t know that when you ask a roomful of 5th graders who the dumbest kid in the class is, they’re all going to point to the same kid, you’re probably not equipped to govern.
And in Gambia, perennial spouter-of-ridiculous-nonsense (and president) Yahya Jammeh has ordered all female civil servants to cover up their hair. The directive is presumably pursuant to his unilateral announcement last month that Gambia is now an Islamic republic. Because I guess that’s a thing the president can do.
I can’t even with this thing about Denmark trying to seize asylum seekers’ valuables. So instead, let’s talk about the patriarchy.
Japan’s highest court ruled that spouses must have the same last name, effectively requiring women to either give up their maiden names, or forgo the legal benefits of marriage.
The UN Working Group on Discrimination Against Women in Law and Practice paid a visit to the U.S. and did NOT like what they found here. In what may or may not be news to anyone, they concluded that the U.S. is failing to uphold the human rights of women, and that the situation is particularly dire for poor women, ethnic minorities, migrants, LBTQ women, women with disabilities, and the elderly.
And 46 year old millionaire Ehsan Abdulaziz was acquitted of rape charges by a London jury, which apparently accepted his story that he tripped and landed with his penis inside of a sleeping teenage girl. (Seriously, I am not exaggerating this one AT ALL.)