WTF Friday, 2/6/2015

So:

WTF Friday, 8/19/11

Deja vu! Rachel Weisz playing a “gutsy truth seeker” in an upcoming film. When will she break this typecast and play a cowardly lie finder?

Hahaha “soft adventure.” This does sound lovely, though. And “exotic.” And “magical.” And you get to watch “minorities trade their goods.” Sick.

I think this is the only article on the Internet that refers to the DRC as the “African Congo.” Anyway I’m really looking forward to the match.

WTF Friday, 8/27/10 and 9/3/10

I purposely withheld last week’s WTF Friday just to hit you guys with a double whammy this week.

8/27/10
Omar al-Bashir made a surprise appearance at the celebration for Kenya’s new constitution. The ICC has reported Kenya to the UN Security Council, but in the words of Kenya’s foreign affairs minister, “He is a state guest. You do not harm or embarrass your guest. That is not African.” Well thank you, Miss Manners.

Africa: Land of Rape and UN Condemnation of Rape

In non-African rape news, the rape of a transgender woman in the Vietnamese province of Quang Binh may not be prosecuted. The judicial authorities in Quang Bin province are apparently under the impression that rape law in Vietnam only covers the rape of women by men, and “the victim had not reclassified her legal gender from male to female.” According to the chief judge of the provincial People’s Court, “Even if the group raped her ten times, we would not be able to sentence them.” I sure hope the perpetrators haven’t seen that quote! (Vietnamese law actually says nothing about the gender of rape victims or perpetrators.)

Double secret reverse genocide in the DRC? Say it ain’t so, Pauly K.! (via FP Passport).

9/3/10
I don’t think it’s premature to name this photo the “Cutest/Saddest of the Pakistan Flood.” Disaster porn at its finest.

I find it kind of unfortunate that the Football Association elections in Sudan seem to have been run more fairly than the actual elections. And that the Sudanese government seems to take FIFA more seriously than the ICC. Just saying.

So Wyclef seems to be taking his disqualification from the Haitian Presidential Election well: “‘Do you intend to continue supporting people who have no respect for Haiti’s Constitution?’ read the message on his Twitter account, which was later translated into English. ‘Do you continue to support people violating the right of the person who [do] not believe in the value of mankind, that every man is a man, and everybody has to live decently?'” And of course, he’s dropped a protest song and video in record time. This whole thing is starting to make more sense to me now that I realized Wyclef is dropping a new album on December 4 (less than a week after the election) featuring two songs with “Haiti” or “Haitian” in the title, another called “Political Correctness,” and I believe an album cover in which the Haitian flag is wrapped around his head. In fact, and I am definitely delving into conspiracy theory here, his last 3 albums seem to be quite a bit more Haiti-centric than his earlier offerings. Has he been planning this since 2004? I think I need to find a new internship/use for my brain.

Lastly, Fidel Castro has issued an apology and taken responsibility for the discrimination faced by homosexuals during his time as President. He claims to have been too busy with food, medicine, the CIA, traitors, etc, to worry about homosexuality, which wasn’t decriminalized until 1979. You gotta make time to worry about rights and stuff, dude. I take like a whole 45 minutes out of my schedule every week!

WTF Friday, 7/2/10

  • President Goodluck Jonathan has suspended the Nigerian national team for two years due to their poor performance in the World Cup. You don’t have to be a soccer fan to see the outrageous fallacy in this logic. FIFA is not happy about this interference.
  • Three convicted rapists have been freed from a Vietnam prison after an acupuncturist claimed to have identified them as virgins due to red spots on the back of their ears. Damn this lady would have really ruined like 65 percent of CSI episodes. (Hat tip to Lisa!).
  • In facial hair news, here’s something I missed from last week. Somali insurgent group, Hizbul Islam, has ordered men to grow their beards and trim their mustaches, NOT the other way around. Finally someone is clamping down on this kind of tomfoolery.
  • Lastly, in what is considered a very important trial in South Africa, former police chief, Jackie Selebi, has been convicted of corruption for providing favors to drug dealers in exchange for cash and designer clothing, including the unnecessarily specific “Hugo Boss knitwear.” Barry Bearak, fashion buff posing as a “serious journalist.”

Tran Trong Duyet, Sprightly Retiree and Amateur Ballroom Dancer: "You Should Totally Vote for That McCain Guy, Who I Never Tortured By The Way"

Photo Courtesy of the BBC
Did you know that John McCain spent five and a half years as a prisoner of war in Vietnam? Apparently at some sort of Hilton? Where they tortured him? No?
Yeah, I can see how you might have missed it. It’s too bad that McCain’s campaign never ever mentions it ever, not even a little bit.
But we are here to assist! That’s right, via our friends at the BBC, we bring you this interview with Tran Trong Duyet, McCain’s jailer during his time a Hoa Lo prison.
Duyet, described as a “sprightly retiree and amateur ballroom dancer,” has fond memories of the nights when he would summon McCain to his office and while away the time by arguing about the war. Duyet says he was intrigued by McCain’s “interesting accent,” and liked it when the imprisoned soldier corrected his speech.
Oh, and those pesky rumors about torture? About how McCain was subjected to such brutal treatment that he attempted suicide and was physically damaged forever? Not true, according to Duyet, who has absolutely no personal interest in covering up embarassing truths about torture! The Hanoi Hilton was awesome, according to our ballroom-dancing friend: “He did not tell the truth…But I can somehow sympathise with him. He lies to American voters in order to get their support for his presidential election.”
And wait, there’s more! Duyet, it turns out, is now a McCainiac. Apparently he was so impressed at McCain’s bravery and fortitude during his non-sessions of non-torture, and is so grateful that McCain helped to normalize relations between the U.S. and Vietnam, that he now considers him a friend and hopes that he will be successful in this election.

“McCain is my friend,” said 75-year-old Mr Duyet as he feeds the caged birds he now keeps in his garden in this coastal city. “If I was American, I would vote for him.”