WTF Friday, 4/13/2012

“Others recount being warned by white neighbors not to slaughter animals for festive occasions, or being mistaken for a prostitute simply for having drinks in a bar full of white patrons.” Wow. #capetowndoessoundawesome.

Give freedom to children around the world through the stats of your favorite baseball players. For example, you can pledge $1 every time Matt Holliday hits a home run, or you can give $5 for every game your favorite team wins.” Pressure’s on guys. I know it’s early in the season but you better start playing well or these humans are gonna get trafficked all summer long.

“Not only President Chavez but certainly his supporters and certainly the people handling his political campaign are taking full advantage of [his illness]. And I think it would be crazy for them not to do so.” Yea, that’s what would be crazy.

WTF Friday, 7/29/11

Props to Hugo Chavez for his Yul Brynner reference. No props for saying he’s gonna rule for another 20 years. Give it a rest, dude.

Medvedev planning to rap about the budget.

Somalis can apparently now thank members of the Kenyan government for putting al-Shabaab between them and their samosas (perhaps inadvertently).

WTF Friday, 7/1/11

Happy 90th to China’s Communist Party. Even the kids are getting in on the fun!

“‘No, the president does not have cancer,’ said Alfredo Márquez, 53, a member of the Bolivarian militia, an armed force established by Mr. Chávez. ‘He has something simpler.’” What does that mean? Is cancer like a bourgeois disease?

My mellow would be totally harshed if I had a “loyalty pledge” come to my dorm room. Would probably need to see my RA.

WTF Friday, 4/1/11

Look at you, WaPo. Using middle school lingo to describe the diplomatic relationship between two authoritarian dictators. A headline after my own heart.

Kim Jong-il asserts his influence on Maine politics. I heard he can actually enter dreams Inception style.
Hm. A single-party state praising democratic change. Fake democratic change at that. Interesting angle…

WTF Friday, 3/4/11

Zimbabwean man arrested for making harmless comment on Facebook. I’m thinking Facebook arrests should be based on quantity, not content, of posts. These randos from middle school blowin up my news feed know who they are…

Camping trip ’04? You guys have to to upload this album to FB already. It’s been like 7 years, bros…

Charlie Sheen and Sean Penn on their way to Haiti. Mr. Sheen, per usual, with a bizarre choice of words: “And I’m excited as hell because, you know, if I can bring the attention of the world down there, then clearly this tsunami keeps cresting.” Riiight…

WTF Friday, 2/4/2011

Missed pun opportunity of the week: Demockracy. Am I the only one in journalism (erm…) trying anymore?

A U.S. appeals court has upheld the landmark September ruling that companies cannot be tried in U.S. courts for violations of international human rights laws. The suit, brought against Shell by families of seven Nigerians who were executed by a former military government for protesting oil exploration in the 1990s, may make its way to the Supreme Court. This is definitely one to pay attention to.

Are Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez trying to tell Evo Morales something? You knee one guy in the groin and all of a sudden it’s an international intervention…

PS, there’s also some other stuff going on.

WTF Friday, 12/3/2010

Mind boggling results in the Ivory Coast presidential election. Alassane Ouattara, the opposition, won the most votes, but Laurent Gbagbo, has been declared the winner due to voting irregularities. The AP found at least one man who has been driven absolutely batshit by the turn of events.

Wikileaks has outted Christopher Dell, former US ambassador to Zimbabwe, for talking trash about Morgan Tsvangirai. Apparently the Zimbabwean Prime Minister is “not open to advice and indecisive.” Wikileaks, making “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” more relevant than ever before.
The same website has reported that the Latin American unity summit ended with Hugo Chavez and Alvaro Uribe nearly coming to blows over a dispute about border trade with Raul Castro playing peacemaker. Evo Morales somehow resisted getting a few knees in.

WTF Friday, 9/24/2010

This is the original version of an NYT article that they later tried to edit. Part conflict journalism, part travel guide: “Another witness, Fartun Abdi, reported recognizing the body of a civilian boy she knew as well as those of three government soldiers lying in alleys of Mogadishu’s Ceel Hindi neighborhood, famous for its cactus trees.”

Looks like a raucous time down at the Chavez rallies. Sounds like the crowd must have got super juiced when the Prez “started bouncing up and down while swinging his arms like a boxer and said: ‘We’re going to give them a beating.’” At least I know silly sports metaphors are not exclusive to American politics.

“Former Liberian warlord Prince Johnson has told the BBC there is no reason he cannot stand in the country’s presidential elections next year.” Really? No reason? Look I’m not pretending all politicians are saints, but when you film yourself cutting off a dude’s ear, haven’t you kind of made your bed? Then again, he is currently an elected senator…

WTF Friday, 6/11/10

  • In weird and creepy news, Saudi Clerics have issued a Fatwa suggesting that men drink women’s breast milk so they can be alone with them. Oh that doesn’t make perfect sense to you? Well apparently, if a man does this, the man becomes a relative of the woman, and can therefore be alone with her in necessary situations such as at work, and they can both avoid lashings. I guess fewer lashings, no matter how discomforting the means, is a good thing. (Hat tip to someone named “Kate Cronin-Furman”).

WTF Friday, 5/14/10

  • John Key, Prime Minister of New Zealand, makes an ill advised cannibalism joke at the expense of the Tuhoe tribe, who were already holding a grudge over Key backtracking on an earlier government agreement to return sacred land. Really seems like a pretty dick move.
  • So apparently some pranksters altered part of the new Kenyan constitution and one thousand copies were printed, 500 of which were distributed. The altered version reads “The need to ensure that the enjoyment of rights and fundamental freedoms by any individuals does not prejudice national security, the rights and fundamental freedoms of others,” while the actual version does not include the national security part. Good one? Not clear yet who is responsible, but I have my suspicions…
  • FP has a slightly sensational and simplistic slide show about burqas called “Veil or Prison.” I mean, are those really the only options?