We Did It!

Advocacy organization Falling Whistles, which we’ve covered in the past, has recently revealed that they and their followers “stopped M23.” That’s pretty swell and all, but we’d be more impressed by their success if it weren’t for the fact that we’ve just arranged for the destruction of Syria’s stockpile of chemical weapons.

That’s right. We wanted those weapons to be gone, and said so to a whole bunch of people. And wished super hard every time we found a stray eyelash. And now the weapons are dunzo, so clearly our campaign worked! Hooray for us.

We are realistic about our accomplishments, and are not trying to take more credit than is due. While a single wish on a single eyelash might not have much of an effect on a despotic regime’s weaponry, we travel all over the world, wishing on stray eyelashes everywhere we go. That’s powerful.

We would also like to offer our gracious thanks to our partners in this struggle: Secretary of State John Kerry, Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov, countless Syrians who risked (and in many cases lost) their lives, and the Organization for Prohibition of Chemical Weapons. Their work was very important, and we’re grateful that they decided to take action because of us. Even the Assad regime, which initially seemed resistant to our organized wishing campaign, eventually came around.

Great work everyone, but particularly Amanda and Kate!

Amanda and Kate

3 Comments

  1. Well-done both of you! I know you’re probably just going to kick back and take a few (well-earned) breaths. But when you’re done, would you just mind taking a look at poverty, hunger, and world peace? And of course, really mean people?

  2. Then of course there’s John Prendergast, claiming it was the conflict minerals campaign that done it: “the previous source of illicit rebel financing—violent and illegal extraction of conflict minerals—was for the most part eliminated by a combination of reforms catalyzed by the Dodd-Frank transparency bill passed by the U.S. Congress.” It’s a nice theory, but good luck trying to prize from them any actual evidence that the campaign hurt M23’s bottom line to the extent it diminished their capacity to wage war.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *